


Scars Left Behind

by erenkillthemall



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/F, F/M, Future Relationships, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Sorry, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Panic Attacks, Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-17
Updated: 2015-03-30
Packaged: 2018-03-18 06:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3559316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erenkillthemall/pseuds/erenkillthemall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you live in a world that emotional scars show just as much as real scars, you have to be classified, Emilia is an S class, through she tries to hide it away claiming to be a D class. But the scars keep piling on, never seeming to go away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just background

**Author's Note:**

> I may add more to this as the story goes along. Or I will make other chapters to explain

This will be short due to it is just to explain a few things about my story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
A Class- These are people who have very little emotional scars, they normally live very happy lives and don't have to where as much clothing as the other Classes. This is the Class everyone strives for. This class can be the very best, they are allowed to be the models and actors, unless it calls for a lower class

B Class- This class has few scars so they only have to hide their back, their lives are good ones, not the best. They have had a few bumps in the road, so they carry a bit

C Class- This class has more then a few scars, but less then the D class. They have to start wearing long sleeves as the scars creep around

D Class-This class has more then enough emotional scars, they aren't as bad as an S Class but they have had some bad luck in their time. This Class wears the longest outfits and perhaps scarves depending to how close they are to an S class they might be

S Class-This is the last class, the Class no body wants to be, its said that even if they cry, the tears leave scars, not many people actually belong to this class, and the people that do, hide.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SCARS EXPLAINED 

Scars start on the back and move outward, moving to the arms, torso and hips. The more emotionally hurt you are the more they spread through the face seems to be saved for last, If the neck is starting to be covered the person or people will do anything to stop and make sure the scars never reach their face, it is said that once that happens, you can never get rid of the scars.

Now emotional scars are different then normal scars, they can range from light to looking like it is still healing depending on what had happened to cause this kind of trauma. 

As a person goes into a diffident class they get different therapy to treat and help cope with the things they are going through

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOTICE: EVERY CITIZEN MUST CHECK IN WITH THE CLINIC EVERY YEAR TO BE RECORDED AS WHAT CLASS THEY ARE IN. IF A PERSON FAILS TO COMPLY THEN THAT PERSON WILL BE ARRESTED AND HELD FOR AS LONG AS SAW FIT.


	2. Character Introductions

Emilia Ryder- She is an S class, but continues to put on lots of makeup to hide most of her scars, they have crept along her neck and are scarring her cheeks and all those rumors about S classes, well she is living proof about her they scar when they cry or have gone insane with depression. She is 17 years old and has dark blue eyes that have dulled over the years due to depression, she is pale and very freckly. Her brown hair is down to her lower back. she has a tendency to hide under her hair when embarrassed or upset. She is a Junior and since her mother is a clinical doctor and only wants the best for her daughter she marks her down as a D class.

Sebastian Crowley- Seb is a B class, he is very athletic and plays on the soccer team, he has curly brown hair and pretty blue eyes that have a hint of grey in them. He and Emilia have been friends for years, more like on and off friends and have even dated a few times. through he breaks up with her at the worst possible times, but she and himself still value each other friendship.

Amelia Nor- She is a girl from Denmark who has met Emilia over the internet since they were both in the same fandom, they have become fast friends. This girl has blond hair and green grey eyes, she is also athletic, playing handball. She is also a A class

Evangeline Smith- She is from Washington, She is a C class, she has met Emilia the same way Amelia has over the internet, they were all in the same fandom, through her and Emilia didn't get along at first calling each other names and being rude to each other.

Anamaris Ackerly- She is Emilia's friend going on 6 years, they became friend a year after Emilia moved to the school. She is a D class, she had cut her brown hair up to her nape, she has honey brown eyes and is originally from England

And many other characters...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay the mother is clinical doctor so she checks on her own daughter, through that is illegal she doesn't want her daughter to be an outcast.


	3. The day of more scars

Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks, no I couldn't let them. I looked up at the 6'4 form of Sebastian who diligently kept his gaze far from mine. I wanted to ask what I have done wrong, why he did this every time. I guess I should be happy that he said it face to face this time. 

Let's rewind shall we?

I had dated Seb before, first when I was in 7th grade and again as a freshman, each time I was quite happy, through we never really acted like a couple, but I was just glad to have someone to lean on. Now, many people can see why I would like a guy like Seb he was tall, played soccer, tan and had very pretty eyes, but he was very weird person in general; but I wasn't off-putted by that I was more drawn to him then anything. That's not the point here, I'm getting off track. Back on to the track, I had once again agreed to go out with him. Bad move? Yes, but hey I was the queen of making bad decisions and tumbling after it.

Now, I stand here with my heart on my sleeve, as he told me on homecoming that it was over. I looked down, closing my eyes and rubbing my eyes with my sleeves, hoping to banish the tears that lingered on my eyelashes, I couldn't cry, and I wouldn't. "Alright..." Was all that I managed to speak, I was happy to say that my voice didn't crack as I spoke. I turned and left quickly back to my seat, but I didn't sit I gathered my stuff and went to move, sadly I was Sebastian's ride. He followed after me. "Look, just text me where to meet you, I can't really be around you at this moment." I kept my gaze to my toes as I swung my jacket onto my shoulders and paced back down the stadium stairs, pushing past the throng of people , it was homecoming after all and Texas was quite known for its love of football. Tonight was not going well, first I had my best friend ditch me, for her girlfriend, who may I mentioned honestly doesn't like me. I have ginger, he is actually named Lucas, but for easier purpose I call him ginger, anyway I learned that he is crushing on me, quite hard might I add. The bad part is I see him as a brother. I sighed as I thought through the nights events and walked to the side of the stadium as I finally felt the tears slip from my eyes. I actually let a broken sob escape me. I wish I could go to Anamaris, or Ana, but she was with her girlfriend and that would be awkward, I guess the girl hates me, because she fears I will try to take Ana.

Ana and I also had quite the history as well, but that really isn't the point. I just want someone to cry to, I slid down to sit on the cold cement, pulling out my phone, it was only 9:15 pm. Really? It felt later then that, I wish it was later then that, so I could go home and cry freely with having to worry about the stupid scars that appear after it. I pushed my passcode into my phone clicking on KIK opening my chat with Amelia, I typed to her with shaky hand, she was probably asleep and that was only proven further as the only thing that popped up was the sent symbol. "Fuck.." I whispered to no one in particular, repressing the urge to throw my phone, I really needed Anamaris, I got up, first making sure my makeup was back in order with the little compact I carried around with me. I walked back up the stairs avoiding the side I knew Seb was on, I climbed up the stairs and went to Ana who was tangled with Winter, the girlfriend I was talking about. I wonder for a second how Ana wasn't cold, she was wearing ripped up plaid skinny pants and a tank top with a leather jacket over it, that and the English flag beanie she wore, was the only thing she wore that was remotely warm. I sighed and continued looking at Winter who was shooting me subtle glares, not having enough energy in me to return those glares as I normally would have. 

Winter was a pear shaped girl, with blonde hair, she was obliviously German, even if she didn't say many things to me, Ana talked enough about her so I knew more then I cared to.

"Ana?" I stood on stair looking down at her

Ana gazed up at me, with her normally warm honey brown eyes, but they seemed to lack that look as she looked at me "Yes, Emilia?" I resisted the urge to sigh, maybe this was a bad idea, but I needed my best friend.

"Ana could I speak to you? I really need to." I looked at her with hope, well perhaps I just looked pitiful, but I didn't care

"Sure, just sit." She uncurled her hand from Winter's to gesture to the bench in front of her, her hand almost immediately went back to Winter's 

"I'd rather speak to you alone, this is private matter that isn't for-"

"For what ema? People you don't like?" Anamaris cut me off and was taken back, then hung my head of course that was she would say, I didn't make it hidden about my dislike Winter, but..

"That's not it Ana, I just really need to speak to you over the course of the night's events." I turned my blue puppy eyes on her, that usually worked on her, but Winter butted in

"Do you mean talk more crap about me?" Her glare was even deadlier then before, I almost took a step back, they were both ganging up on me? I can understand Winter but Ana was my best friend for going on 5 years. She was there for me as I was for her.

"Ana... You- I guess I'm just not that important anymore as soon as Winter is around." I turned and stalked off, my throat tightened as I thought of my words, that was cruel, I know she cared about me, I know she does... or I once did

I walked out of the stadiums gates, there were to many people and my hands wouldn't stop shaking and couldn't stop them even if I wanted to. I walked to the other side of the fence to watch the game unfold, hopefully to take my mind off the events for at least awhile, my fingers gripped the fencing as I watched. I blanked out for awhile, a part of me hoping I never had to check in mentally again. The only thing I heard was the cheers and the announcer but the thing I felt was scars, being formed. Its an odd thing, you can feel when the scars form and they are usually red and disgusting for the first, few days through they do sometimes revert back to that as you reopen the emotional wound. I sighed it was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had honestly almost cried about this, and I feel as through I may cry for future chapters. I don't except you to feel the intense sadness I do, but yea, I really hoped you enjoyed this chapter and I might continue it, if its not to hard


	4. The scars we place on oursleves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't except cussing in my story then your fucking wrong, I will always cuss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so angst, and great friends, that are better then real life friends. The dialogue gets heavy at the end

With a few minutes on the clock for the game, I felt my phone vibrate and heard a little piece of Germany Einigkeit, I sighed as I drew it out, typing my passcode quickly I skimmed the message. It was from Seb

From Seb- By the front gate

To Seb- Kay

I clicked the home button, and locked the phone. I walked slowly not rushing to the gate, I leaned against the gate, watching the throng of people rush through, my eyes not focusing on them, I didn't look for anyone, I was just waiting to be picked out of the crowd. So, why did I jump when my shoulder was tapped? Because I thought I was ready to face Seb, but I wasn't. Oh I so I wasn't. My throat tightened at the sight of him, I didn't greet him, I couldn't even if I wanted to, I think my voice left. All I could do was turn and walk down the hill that led to the parking lot, where my car sat. I had saved enough money, to eventually buy a cheap used car, it was a 97' chevy type car, it was actually quite reliable,

We both got in the car, I pulled my keys from my pocket, I pulled out of the parking lot, the silence that fell over the two juniors was so tense that it could be cut with a knife, I wanted to scream and sob, but I wouldn't not yet anyway. So, when Sebastian opened his mouth to talk was the same time that I leaned over to turn on my stereo, I fell into a sense of calm as the sound of Heather Dale's washed over her. I pulled into the driveway of Seb's home, I turned the volume down as the door opened so the neighbors weren't awoken. Seb hesitated as he stood outside the open door "Good night Em." I winced at the nickname, my friends had called me that, he had no right to say it, but I held my tongue and watched as he closed the door and walked to his garage.

I pulled back out and headed home to find solitude

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A week, a fucking week. That's how long it takes to get pissed after your best friend has done everything in her power to ignore you. It hurts like a bitch.

"Ana." I stopped her on her way to third period, the thing is I actually took the time to try to remember the ways to get to class and other ways, because I never knew where my classes would be, I guess it came in handy when trying to confront your best friend as she evades you. "Anamaris, stop damn ignoring me and talk." I stopped in front of her, taking her in, she kept her head down and her fringe covering on eye, it was getting a bit long, she clutched her books in her hands and to her chest tightly as if trying to appear small. I had my hands free since I quickly dropped them off at my math class, and rushed to block Ana's way. I watched as she tried to move around, but I was always the faster and stronger one of us. I side stepped her "Stop fucking avoiding and just speak to me, so, I can fix it." She didn't lift those wonderful honey brown eyes to look at me, just tried to go around me again, I scowled

'Why the hell is she doing this? What have I done? Nothing as far as I knew.'

I placed my hand on her shoulder, keeping her in place, my hand slipped to her forearm where I could swing her back if she tried to leave "What the fuck is up with you? I need my best friend, Ana and your not there and if you need me because something is happening then fucking speak to me, don't ignore like i'm one of your problems." I looked at her, I might be angered but I still cared "Please." That came out more brokenly then I intended it to be.

"I can't talk, or we are going to be late." She had a point I knew how long it took me to get to class as well as it did for her, but my scowled just deepened

"Fuck class, I want to talk now, or this will fester and rot." I gripped her arm a bit harder out of desperation trying to convey how I felt.

"Em, please, I don't want to talk about it. At least not to you." She moved her arm away from me and moved past me, I watched her retreating form, my heart felt like it had a giant hole in it. Had I done something? I didn't have an answer. I went to the bathroom going into in of the stalls, I closed the door and leaned against it, placing a hand over my mouth to stifle the sob that escaped me. 

When I could finally stop crying I unlocked the stall and walked out, I didn't have to touch up my make-up I've been wearing the kind that is water proof, luckily cause I didn't want to look in the mirror and see grey blue eyes that looked so unlike the ones I usually saw, I sniffled and walked out grabbing a tardy pass, heading back to math. The people who I called friends but they weren't close enough for me to talk to them. They looked at me questioningly, I shook my head, sitting down at my desk, pulling out my phone and deciding I needed my more metal music, but not to metal songs flowing through me.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As classes passed, I drew deeper into myself, thinking so many horrible things about myself and what I could have possibly done. Eventually lunch came and I realized that as I walked in I searched for that head of black hair sitting at our table, she was, as I had actually taken it upon myself to move myself out of her presence, to give her space, but now I sat in front of her as she gazed at her phone, was that a small smile? Whenever Ana had a smile like that it was always on the right side, if it was on the left it was usually fake. I felt like crying all over again. "Anamaris." I said as other sat down, I didn't want this to be public but it came to that.  
she actually looked up at me for a moment before looking down

"Ana, you can't run from it, just talk to me." I was tempeted just to let it go, but I couldn't I was clingy and I will admit that.

She didn't say anything and that made my urge to cry even stronger then before, I felt my eyes start to water "Please, tell me what I did. Was it because of what I said about Winter, if so then please forgive me. If I done anything I'm so fucking sorry, please just talk to me." Tears ran done my face at that point. Her face was apathetic, and it just made me cry harder I was almost sobbing. "Ana, please if I haven't given you enough attention, then I'll try harder." My voice was break and my breathing was heavier, I sniffled as she picked up her pencil bag and got up, I watched as she walked to the bathroom. Taylor got up to sit next to me as I buried my head in my arms, I sobbed not caring who heard.

"Em, what's going on?" came her soft voice, over the noise of the cafeteria

"I don't fucking know, Ana just stopped talking to me, and I don't know why!" I looked up at the blonde, as she rubbed my back for comfort. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A few days later, I was cleaning my car outside of my apartment, I was singing softly along with the music I had blasting. Before it was interrupted by my text tone, I leaned over, looking at the name. It was from Ana. I was tempted to ignore it but my curiosity got the better of me, I opened it preparing myself for what I might read

From Ana- Look, I want you to know that I want to focus on school, I'm failing quite a few classes, so I don't have time to talk or anything. I'm also getting bullied quite a bit. I don't even want to go to school because of it, I would also not like to see you for a while, so please keep your distance.

I sucked a breath as the tears slipped over, whatever I was expecting it was not this, this was worse then anything. I slumped against my back seat. 

To Ana- Why? What did I do? Why didn't you tell me that was happening I would have tried to help you.

I typed at a furious rate, pressing send, and waited

From Ana- I don't need your help. 

To Ana- Because a shiny new girlfriend?

From Ana- Oh god, of course you would bring that up, you always think that things are about you. Your just jealous because I actually love her. Newsflash, the world doesn't revolve around you, there are other people, your not the only person I talk to, And your defiantly not my only friend.

To Ana- I know it doesn't, I'm not egolostical! I know you have other friends Ana, I just thought we were closer then that.

From Ana- You sure act like it at times.

Tears came faster, my heart was heavy and my chest hurt, I opened KIK and wrote to Amelia, telling her what happened

Amelia- Give me her KIK

Emilia- I don't think that is a good idea

Amelia- Don't care give it to me.

Emilia- Fine

I sent a picture of Ana's KIK

Amelia-I'll be right back

I waited patiently for Amelia even as I sobbed, I hugged my knees to my chest

Amelia- This little bitch, she's so full of it.

Emilia- What is she saying?

I almost didn't want to know, but I'm a curious girl and I wanted to know, and I watched as she sent me pictures, I pressed them and watched as they enlarge, my heart broke as I read them "Why?" I punched the seat in front of me, crying harder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm leaving it there, the next chapter will have the conversation between the Amelia and Anamaris, so what are your theories?  
> I realized that I wrote this story not just to rely how I feel about what has happened in my life, but to also make a character that people can relate to, like when she's holding her tongue, how many of you would actually speak? If you feel like you can connect with any of the character I have made then I have done my job. I would also like to know if you like this story because I realize how many people really don't read this. I understand its not your typical story, but it is a story some can relate, if not the situations then perhaps her feelings or perhaps Anamaris, Because she has a reason a reason that I find stupid but its there.


	5. The scars even friends can make

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conversation between two mad people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I since I'm a lazy little fuck AM- Is Anamaris and AA- Will be Amelia, this will be fun.

I looked at the first picture that Amelia had sent me

AM- It's fine we might not be friends anymore

AA-It's fine? What is wrong with you? Sorry but fine? Losing a friend is just fine?

AM-Okay look I will try to work things out with her but as soon as she talks crap about my girlfriend, no let more correct that, she's not my girlfriend, my fiancé/ soul mate we we'll have a huge problem and at that point I could care less

AA- Idc if you will try to work things out, don't do it because of me. I just don't understand you, how you don't care. And it's fine that you have a soul mate or whatever you call it, but Em had you and you left her, so what is she supposed to do? You choose her instead of Emelia ofc she's not happy about her

AM- Actually if you want to know the truth me and Emilia were dating before I met her and even before that she was more nicer, more fun to be around and then after I broke it off to be with Winter, she got more rude (in the nicest way) She just changed, I can't help that I choose her over Em, I'm sorry it happened and funny thing we even fought about it as well, it was almost like the fight now.

\---------------------------------------  
I sucked in a breath, she didn't tell me the real reason she broke it off. She lied to me, What else is she lying about? 

\----------------------------------------

AM- And a matter of fact I don't care anymore, I'm so done Em has her own support system, I have mine, she might think that I don't have one she is wrong, so I'm just done.... goodbye and so on

AA- Your fucking serious?! You don't even want to fix this . That's the friend you are. You ignore her and don't care, I thought you did it because of problems or Em's problems or something. I trusted you man, and you don't care about her? That's how I see it. If I'm wrong please say so.

AM- Okay look I'm going to tell you something, yes I'm doing it because of my own stuff but she has her own limits and being the person I am I've been holding my tongue for two years and I'm just done all the times she hits me, calls me 'Stupid, idiot, stupidass ect' hell I can't even think of half the things she calls me... I know she is doing it out of love but it still gets to me because I have a weak brain and shit like that stays in my mind... For example I got called ugly consistently when I was six years old and now im eighteen and I still think I'm ugly that I need to wear a bbag over my head over my head when I walk out... I can't take the fighting or anything that has to deal with drama because I cannot handle it... Of course I back out because I am a weak person... I'm just now learning to stand up for myself, So please I don't want to hurt anymore. I'm just done

AA- I know you have problems, okay? And I understand you, we all have problems, but you know what? I have a problem as well, a panic problem, called over thinking. I had it some days ago for the first time in half a year and guess who helped me through it? I was fucking scared but I called Emilia and she saved my night. And me. She made me laugh through the whole night instead of crying and screaming. She's fantastic, she's so good at helping. And she's a good person, who could help you through things like that. And you can tell me even more about your panics or whatever, it doesn't change anything, we all have problems big or small. The problem here is that you don't care about your friendship. It's obvious that Emilia cares. I just don't understand why you want to throw her away anyway, because of such a thing we're he didn't do anything. I call her idiot and tell her to fuck off all the time, we're still friends. It's not because you want the person to be sad or really fuck off. you should know that.

AM- Okay you know I understand you, because that's what my gf did to me, but because Em can push me, and I don't even care anymore. 

AA- My only question is, Do you want Emilia to be your friend?

AM- The way this is heading and how much stress I'm getting no I do not

AA- Well then that's the only thing I wanted to know. Then theres no problem, then you go ahead and love your girlfriend. All you want

AM- And before you call me a bad friend or think I'm a bad friend or something like that just know I was the only one, who was there, who liked her enough to be a friend out of our friends Brooke, Jamie, my gf, my own mother doesn't like her, so I'm sorry I tried okay

AA- You didn't! You fucking didn't! So, now you say that nobody likes her? Do you think I care? Do you think I fucking care? I don't evn believe you. You didn't have to try. What if I said nobody likes your girlfriend? If I tell you how many people are lying to her, saying they do like her? That's just rude, really Really fucking rude

AM- That's a lie because Jamie and Alyassa and Brooke all love her and always ask to hang out with her and me

AA- So, now they do like Em? Or is it you fantastic, beautiful, lovely, girlfriend now? Perfection huh? Really. Fucking. Perfect. If you write a long message about you again. Just no. No

AM- My girlfriend, I was talking about her and I'm not

AA- Yes, because everybody loves your girlfriend right?

AM- No, not everybody

AA_ And everybody probably loves you, but ugh you think you're so ugly anyway. And Emilia who's pretty and smart and a fantastic friend, no, nobody likes her, and you had to tell me, you had to try to make me stop liking her or whatever you wanted, setting you in a good light idfk. I felt sorry for you, I really did, but when you talk like that. That is not okay.

\-------------------------------------------------------

That was where the pictures ended, if I wasn't sobbing before then I was now. I was being lied to by my friends, the only friends I pretty much had. I got out of my car, leaving my phone on the seat and walking inside, going to my room. I just wanted to sleep and forget my problems. Through instead of sleeping I was kept up, by my thoughts. It was stupid, I should have known, I'm usually to pushy, clingy, too loud, and annoying for most people. I hugged a pillow to me and tried to stifle my sobs into it. I knew when I woke up or even got up, I would have lots of new scars, I had feeling these would look red and ugly for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The real texts have a lot more incorrect and the grammar is horrible but I fixed it up. So, who agrees that Ana is quite a bitch?


End file.
